Hecklers are a staple part of comedy; one should probably expect them, especially when one is doing a late-night show at the Edinburgh Fringe, actively encouraging a drinking game. However, I feel that hecklers have to be actually good at heckling and not, as someone was last night, just a bit muttery and constantly talking.
Meet Sally, everybody.
Now Sally looked like a meth addict and sounded like one too. I usually have a bit of a fun time with people talking in my shows; since I’m not performing with the Shambles this year, it’s good to keep my improv muscles working and shut people up with quips and shit.
From the moment Sally opened her mouth, I knew what was going to shut her up. A Scottish woman who looks like a meth addict and sounds like one too. Perfect. It was a killer line so I thought I had to wait until she was unbearable. It took about three minutes. And then I said.
“Oi, Trainspotting: SHUT UP.”
The audience went crazy. I was basking in the radiant glow of rapturous applause. Sally had no clue what was going on. I was a drag hero.
And then Sally carried on talking.
Enter Alexios.
Alexis raised his hand to answer a question about his sexual preferences (Jake Gyllenhaal yes please), but before answering he made a public announcement about how much everyone hated Sally and could she shut up please because he had been looking forward to this all day. The audience recognised him for the martyr and icon he truly was and we will all be grateful to him. He won the cassette based on that alone.
And then the curtain between the tech box and the stage fell down.
I have had the most free fringe day ever.